Short jokes are a great option to make people laugh in a short time and without effort. There are ones for adults, for children, dirty jokes, and even bad ones that are funny. Learn a few to improve your repertoire and be the best prankster in your group of friends.
Being the best joker in your group of friends is not an easy task, to do this you must know all kinds of jokes: dirty, for adults, from Jaimito or for children.
In this sense, you should not leave aside short jokes. These types of jokes manage to provoke laughter in the group, especially if you are funny when telling them.
The problem is usually always the same: having a good list to use at the most opportune moment and not going blank in front of your audience.
Here you have compiled the best 147 short jokes that you can make: there are funny ones, dirty ones, for children or bad ones that also manage to make you laugh.
34 funny short jokes
Everyone wants to know funny short jokes, as it is the basis of a good repertoire.
These are the best 34 funny short jokes you can tell:
- Do you know why the sea is blue? Because fish say “Blue, blue, blue blue.”
- Why wouldn’t a magician be good at boxing? Because he would be the one who was beaten.
- Who is Prince Charming’s father? The Blu-ray.
- What is the name of the fish that falls from the fourth floor? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh… you!
- What is the height of a hairdresser? Discover that nothing in life is permanent.
- What does a gardener say to another? Let’s be happy while we can.
- Deleting spam emails is very easy: spam eaten.
- What is the name of Bruce Lee’s vegan brother? Brocco Lee.
- How do you say door in English? Door. And the one who sells them? Vendedoor. And the one who buys them? Buyer.
- Where does Iron Man live? Iron Know.
- Hippies don’t urinate: they make peace.
- What does a cow do with its eyes closed? Concentrated milk.
- What does an iguana say to its twin sister? We are iguanites.
- What is a bee doing in a gym? Zumba.
- What is the height of a shepherd? Counting sheep and falling asleep.
- What does a cherry say when looking in the mirror? “Cereza?”
- What is the favorite hairstyle of postmen? The ringlets.
- What is a tupperware doing in the forest? Tupperdio.
- I was going to tell a joke about sodium… but Na.
- Do you know why those from Lepe carry a bathtub on top of the ambulance? To carry the mermaid.
- There is no doubt, and doubt he walked away.
- This is a man who walks into a pincho bar and says: Oh, oh, oh, oh.
- Where do hamsters come from? From Hamsterdam.
- What does a depressed chicken say to another depressed chicken? We need support.
- Dad, dad, can I go to the movies? Yes, but don’t come in.
- Doctor, doctor, I have mumps. Well, take €2 and you already have bananas.
- You are obsessed with food! I don’t know what you mean croquettely.
- What is the height of a stewardess? Falling in love with autopilot.
- What is the name of Bruce Willis’ cleaner brother? Kevin Willis.
- What is a mute doing dancing? A move.
- How is Batman going to his funeral? Batieso.
- Albino got lost in the forest, so his dad fired 2 shots in the air because PAN PAN and Albino came.
- There are 2 soldiers on a motorcycle and they can never get off. You know why? I’ve already told you: because they are soldiers.
- The curtain opens. Act 1: a stone. Act 2: the same stone. Act 3: It’s still the same stone. The curtain closes. Name of the work? Rocky 3
48 short bad jokes
Bad jokes can get more laughs than you think. Sometimes they are so absurd that they make you laugh for this reason.
These are the best 48 short bad jokes:
- What does one roof say to another? “Ceiling less.”
- I hate chemicals: sodium.
- In Hawaii they don’t host you: they host you.
- What does Santa Claus have when he is missing a reindeer? Renal insufficiency.
- Why don’t nuns wear sandals? Because they are devout.
- Why does the hen take so much care of her chicks? Because it cost her an egg to have them.
- What do you say 3 to 30? To be like me you must be sincere.
- How do penguins get drunk? With Polo Liquor.
- What does a fish do in the cinema? Nothing: he is a MERE spectator.
- What is the scariest plant? The bamboo.
- What happens if you meet the person you like on the street? That you have been crushed.
- What does 0 to 8 tell you? “Nice belt.”
- Why did the printer go into cardiac arrest? It seems that he had a very strong impression.
- What does one spaghetti say to another? My body asks for sauce?
- Two lepers go to the doctor and see a sign: “CONSULTATION FROM 4 TO 7.” So one of them tells the other: Hey, there are only two of us, let’s go find another sick couple.
- How is a mother-in-law like a storm cloud? When they leave, it’s a good afternoon.
- Why doesn’t the sea dry up? Because he doesn’t have a towel.
- Doctor, I think I need glasses. I agree, but I can’t help you, this is a bank!
- What does a wizard fish say? “Nothing around here nothing around there”.
- What is the bird that always makes its nests in churches? Ave Maria.
- What is the animal that frees the monkey? The mullet.
- What does the smartest chick say? “3.14 3.14.”
- Do you know what car Santa Claus uses? Easy: a Renol.
- What is the superhero of dogs? The Doberman
- If zombies reach old age… little zombies?
- Why is the moon bigger than the sun? Because they let her go out at night.
- What is the height of a porcupine? That gives him a bad feeling.
- There are 2 psychics on a motorcycle and the medium’s one falls.
- There was a guy who was so drunk, but so drunk that they called him “genius” because every time they uncorked a bottle he appeared.
- What is Dracula’s favorite animal? The thoroughbred horse.
- Which actor is always given condolences? To Johnny RIP.
- If we are neighbors, and I live downstairs and you live upstairs, could we say “we have less roof”?
- What is the oldest animal in the world…? The penguin, because it is in black and white.
- What happens if you throw a duck into water? Nothing.
- Gutiérrez, I need the annual results report to attach to the file of your dismissal. -SO THAT? -Paraguayan.
- Hello, is Conchita…? No, I’m with Tarzan.
- What is the funniest fruit? The orange ha ha ha ha.
- Grandpa, why are you in front of the computer with your eyes closed? Windows told me to close the tabs.
- Madam, excuse me but your flight has been delayed. Oh, what a thrill, it’s my favorite color!
- What does a yellow traffic light say to cars? “Don’t look at me, I’m changing.”
- What is the language of turtles? The Turtle
- Why don’t cats go to the dance? Because they are scared of the twerking.
- Yesterday I fell and thought I had broken my fibula. He fibbed.
- What is a dog doing with a drill? He is barking.
- What does Batman do in the Batmobile when it’s cold? Beating.
- What is the height of a giraffe? Have sore throat.
- What does Darth Vader keep in his refrigerator? Dark ice cream.
- Why can’t you argue with a DJ? Because he always changes the subject.
25 short dirty jokes
And here comes the favorite category of thousands of people: dirty jokes. You already know that these sexual jokes always succeed, so they should appear on any list.
These are the best 25 short dirty jokes:
- One friend says to the other: Your husband is cheating on you. And this one she answers: What a shame, with how badly the guy fucks.
- What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? “I want you inside me”.
- The husband is reviewing the bills and tells his wife: “If you knew how to cook we would save a fortune on the cook.” “Well, if you knew how to make love we would save a fortune on the gardener.”
- Newspaper advertisement: Invisible man looks for transparent woman to do things never seen before.
- What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? “I want you inside me”
- How can you tell if your girlfriend is good at math? Examine it. Steal her clothes, add them to your bedroom, split her legs and give her a good root.
- Have you heard about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn’t close his coffin.
- “Hey, do you like busty women?” “Well, the truth is that more than two make me a little upset.”
- How are a game of cards and masturbation similar? That if you have a good hand it doesn’t matter what your partner does.
- I thought about having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at once, I could have dinner with my parents.
- What is the most erotic liquid? The water is hot, because it hard-boils the eggs and opens the clams.
- A guy walks into a bar and another guy tells him: “I slept with my wife before we got married. What about you?” The other says, “I don’t know. What do you say her name is she?”
- What color does a deaf-mute buy panties for his girlfriend? Transparent, so you can read their lips.
- Hey, how’s your wife fucking?” “Well, I don’t know. Some say good, others say bad…”
- The husband to his wife: “Tonight I am going to love you.” And she answers: “For me, it’s like you’re going to Saturn!”
- How does a woman scare her gynecologist? Learning to be a ventriloquist.
- A colorblind person says to another: “Tell you a dirty joke? A tomato on a motorcycle!”
- What I like most about women are their legs.” “How curious, that’s the first thing I put aside!”
- Who are the women who know their bodies best? Those who masturbate, because they know it “in and out.”
- If handing out advertising in mailboxes is mailboxing, is handing out brochures flirting?
- What’s behind the Laughing Cow cheese brand? The bull that pushes!
- So, doctor, will this wool condom cure my impotence?” “No, but it will make your cock sweat.”
- A young man goes to see his doctor and he says, “Sir, you have to stop masturbating.” “Why?” the man asks. “Because I’m trying to examine him.”
- Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock.
- One friend to another: “How many times do you do sports a week?” “Does making love count as a sport?” “Yeah”. “Well then, none.”
40 short jokes for children
Children also have the right to enjoy jokes, and there is nothing better than a short one so that they can learn their own jokes.
Here are the best 40 short jokes for children:
- Waiter! This steak has a lot of nerves. Normally, it’s the first time they’ve eaten it.
- Hey, do you know what the inhabitants of Barcelona are called? Man, not all of them.
- What does one grain of sand say to another in the desert? Man, I think they’re following us.
- What does a bedbug say to another bedbug? I’m going to be a chinchero for you, I love you
- Doctor, I’m asthmatic, is it serious? No friend, it’s stupid.
- What is the name of Hello Kitty’s sick brother? Bron Kitty.
- Once upon a time there was a bad soccer player, but so bad that when he scored a goal, in the replay he missed it!
- What does an omelet say to a fork? “Don’t prick me, I have more balls than you.”
- Do you want me to tell you a dirty joke? Yeah? Well, wait for it to mature.
- What happens if you throw a duck into water? Nothing.
- “Children, don’t play with fire!” And Fuego was left without friends.
- How do you write: sleeping or sleeping? Well, in neither of those 2 ways: you write awake.
- The captain of the ship said: “Raise the sails!” And those below were left in the dark.
- Do you know where fleas go when they die? To the pulpit.
- What is the height of an astronaut? Getting to Mars on a Wednesday.
- A drunk sends a message to his wife: “Honey, I’ll be here in 30 minutes. If I have not arrived, he reads the message again.”
- Kid, get out of the car and see if the turn signal works. Now yes, now no, now yes, now no, now yes, now no…
- What is the height of a hairdresser? Missing the train by a hair.
- What does an egg say to a frying pan? You have me fried.
- Yesterday I fell and thought I had broken my fibula. He fibbed.
- If a lawyer is crazy… does he lose his trial?
- What does one grain of sand say to another in the desert? Man, I think they’re following us.
- What does a bedbug say to another bedbug? I’m going to be a chinchero for you, I love you
- Newspaper front page headline: Fire at the zoo! They suspect the flames.
- What is the height of a journalist? Let a press conference crush it.
- Where does Superman hang his supercape? In superchero.
- How do you say mirror in Chinese? Aitoiyo.
- The curtain opens. Act 1: a stone. Act 2: the same stone. Act 3: It’s still the same stone. The curtain closes. Name of the work? Rocky 3
- Why did the printer go into cardiac arrest? It seems that he had a very strong impression.
- Where do hamsters come from? From Hamsterdam.
- Dad, mom says you’re obsessed with your cell phone. Shut up Alfonsiete.
- Good morning, I would like to rent Batman Forever. It is not possible, you have to return it tomorrow.
- Why don’t those from Lepe go into the kitchen? Because there is a jar that puts salt.
- You are obsessed with food! I don’t know what you mean croquettely.
- A family occupied land in Hawaii. Now let’s see who evicts her.
- Why can’t you argue with a DJ? Because he always changes the subject.
- They have stood me up. Like whales?
- What a fortune Henry Ford has made with cars.” And his brother Roque with cheeses!
- He gives me a short latte. My machine broke, over.
- What do astronauts always complain about? Of lack of space.
Credit: Yavendras
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